Standard Date Age

OMG! I just had the brightest idea -- evar! While I was uber not so ginaganahan pa mag work, kanina, I make isip of who should I date. I mean there are a lot of choices sa ngayon. Kaya I started to Google dating tips. Then I came across this website that advises their readers that the older the person gets the wider the age range of his/her prospective date would be.

For example, an 18 year would date someone who has an age difference of +2 / -2 years and a guy on his 40's would probably date someone from age 30-50. So the bottom line is the older you are, the wider your selection gets.

If you are one of my friends who have my number, then prolly have your number too and I've sent you already the formula on how to compute your Standard Date Age.

Ohhhh K. So what is this Standard Date Age?

Good question! It is the floor value of your prospective partner's age. It is mainly used by individuals who believe that AGE DOES MATTER and those who wouldn't want to be called a creep for dating a highschool kid.

Hehe. I just made that up. But it sounds cool.

OK ok. so here's the formula:

Standard Date Age = (YourAge / 2) + 7

Example: Joey is a 24 year old call-center agent eyeing an 18 year old Sophomore from CEU-Makati. Let us compute for his SDA.

SDA = (24/2) + 7
= (12) + 7
= 19

Hehe. OK so I did it STEP BY STEP so that you wouldn't get lost IF ever. hehe.

Conclusion: Oh no! Joey mah man! Sowee! I think you should move-on and focus more with the ladies from your work and not those whom you've met at Friendster. Gosh, that was ALMOST! Just 1 yr! tsk tsk tsk.

How bout yah readers? What is your SDA?

Dharma + Rob

Dharma is the name of my new girlfriend. I love her. I love her so much. She's so sexy and beautiful.

She makes me wanna vomit little heart candies.

I love you Dharma.

Faaayyyaaarrr!

Last Friday we had a fire drill; all the employees are required to participate. So the alarm rang and we didn’t panicked… we so didn’t panicked that it took us a minute more to leave our works behind and went down the fire exit.

At the parking area, we, the employees “organized” our selves. They should’ve put a fake fire, black billowing smoke and some “casualties,” you know just to add to the mood. But there was neither fire nor a smoke. Just a ring and a mega phone. LOL. A mega phone?!

Minutes later, I was the one on fire! LOL. Gawd. Naglabasan ang mga eye-candy sa building. LOL. I didn’t know na marami palang “pwede” at “ulam-material” sa building namin (Dis I just said that?! You bet I did! :D)

Haha. Iba’t ibang klase sila. May singkit, may mahaba buhok, may maigsi, may maputi, may tan. Napakanta nalang ako ng “Ring the alarm” ni Beyonce. Shet sana fire drill uli! HAHA

Haaay… this post is soo wrong. LOL.

OMG!

Ang bango nya! Sana makatabi ko ulit sya sa bus. Hehe.

Malas kung Malas

KUMIRIRING ang telepono nang madaling araw....

"Hello, Master Carlos? Si Arnaldo po ito, 'yung katiwala niyo sa bahay-bakasyunan niyo."

"O, Mr. Arnaldo, ikaw pala. Ano't napatawag ka? May problema ba?

"Um, napatawag lang po ako para abisuhan kayo na namatay ang alaga niyong parrot."

"Yung parrot kong si Pikoy, patay? 'Yung nanalo sa bird show?

"Opo, Master Carlos, 'yun na nga po."

"Putris ... sayang! Ang laki pa naman ng nagastos ko sa ibong 'yon. Hay, buhay!Teka, ano nga ba ang ikinamatay niya?"

"E, kumain po kasi ng bulok na karne...."

"Bulok na karne? At sino namang salbaheng tao ang nagpakain sa kanya ng bulok na karne?"

"W-Wala po. Nanginain po siya ng karne ng isang patay na kabayo."

"Patay na kabayo? Anong patay na kabayo, Mr. Arnaldo?"

"E, 'yun pung mga thoroughbred horses niyo, Sir. Namatay po kasi lahat sila sa pagod, kahihila ng kariton ng tubig."

"Nasisiraan ka na ba ng bait? Anong kariton ng tubbbiiiiggggg?"

"Yun pong pinampatay namin ng sunog."

"Diyos ko po! Anong sunog naman 'yang pinagsasasabi mo?"

"'Yun pong halos tumupok sa bahay niyo.... Tumumba po 'yung isang nakasinding kandila, tapos nagliyab 'yung kurtina at mabilis na kumalat ang apoy...."

"Ano? Puuut.... E, may kuryente naman diyan sa bahay-bakasyunan, a. Para saan yung kandila?"

"Para sa burol po."

"Ano? Kaninong burol?

"Sa nanay n'yo po, Sir. Bigla kasi siya dumating dito nu'ng isang gabi, walang kaabi-abiso. Lampas hatinggabi na. Akala ko po magnanakaw. Binaril ko."

Anong binatbat ng "A Series of Unfortunate Events" ni Lemony Snicket jan. :D

Doookoootiiin moh

Dear Magnanakaw ng Cellphone,

Una sa lahat, Putangina mo hayup ka! Naway nasa mabuti kang kalagayan. Ingatan mo ang cellphone ko na dinukot mo sakin habang siksikan tayo sa bus na byaheng LRT-Baclaran. Naway maibenta mo yan sa malaking halaga, upang maipambili mo ng kabaong mo.

Hanga ako sa istayl ng pandurukot nyo ng tropa mo. Kunwari na ou-out-of-balance ka pa para lalo kang dumikit sa akin. Madulas ang iyong mga kamay, at iyon ay aking hinahangaan. Nagawa mong madukot ang cellphone ko sa masikip kong bulsa ng hindi ko nararamdaman at walang nakakakita.

Sayang naman at bumaba ka agad sa may Washington street, pwede mo rin sana madukot ang pitaka ko na nakalagay sa likod na bulsa ng pantalon. Pero nakuntento ka agad at ang iyong ka-tropa.

Tang ina mo, kapag nagkita tayong muli, lahat ng depektibong battery ng Nokia ay ipapalulon ko sayo at saka ko papasabugin.

Ingat ka lagi.


Best regards,
Thomas

Metrostar Ferry at ang Kalye sa Dagat

I was so excited when I heard the news that Metrostar Ferry Inc, will be operating again. This means that the 1.5 – 2 hours travel time that the Cavitenos endure everyday will be cut to 30 mins. But my excitement suddenly went away when the reporter revealed that it would cost a commuter between 60 pesos to 75 pesos depending on whether you are a student/senior citizen or an adult.

Maybe I’ll try Metrostar on a weekend. I don’t know why I would want to try it on a weekend, so don’t ask.

Another soon-to-be addition with the Government’s efforts in easing the EDSA-like-traffic at Bacoor is the on-going construction of the project I love to call “Kalye sa Dagat.” This road would connect Coastal road and Covelandia (just a few hundred meters past Island Cove) via [insert name of the sea here – sorry I totally forgot eh] and is expected to greatly reduce the massive volume of cars and buses at Aguinaldo Highway.

I’m just wondering, would there be another toll gate at “Kalye sa Dagat?” If yes, then there would be 2 toll gates – one here and the other one at Coastal road.

Fantastic! Cavitenos are in an effing lose-lose (hehehe I hate the sound) situation here.

Haaaay. Teleportation anyone?